I'm not a person who's opposed to loud music. I have a friend who I sometimes call the human tuning fork because he's as sensitive to noise as a person possibly can be. I'm not in that category, although I do have a good ear if I do say so myself. But there is a point at which a person has to say ambient music is turned up too loud to be comfortable. In my gym, that would be so loud that a person can't hear their iPod through their headphones even when it's cranked up to the maximum and they're at risk of a seizure.
Usually I don't have this problem at the gym, but the first time it happened I was blithely told by the gym staff that they had obliged a customer who was working out by turning the music up "so he could get really pumped!" Indeed. Wanting to be collegial, I went upstairs, got on the elliptical machine, and, sure enough, could not hear my iPod no matter what bleeding volume I turned it up to. I finally whipped out my cell phone, called the downstairs from the upstairs, and screamed into the phone "I'm upstairs on one of your elliptical machines - tell me you don't think this is too loud!" and then I held it up and let them listen for a second. When I got back on the phone, they agreed to lower the fucking volume. Case closed, or so I thought.
Today I get in there looking for my usual workout, and I hear Annie Lennox. So far so good. But I hear her from outside the front doors, which is not so good. I go upstairs and find that, yes, the volume is so loud that I can't hear my own tunes. When I go downstairs to the counter, the 19 year old running the place tells me that she doesn't have the authority to turn the music down and, anyway, there is a "standard setting" that they're told to put the music at. I told her this was funny, since I work out there five times a week and it's almost never that loud. She quickly explains that, well, they keep it lower than normal. Oh, why is that I wonder? Because people fucking COMPLAIN perhaps? I asked the chick when someone with authority over the radio is planning to come in, and she says she is the only one there. So, apparently, she has the authority to lock and unlock the place, and monitor the safety of patrons on three commercial floors, but has no dominion over the all-important tunage.
To the rancid tones of the ubiquitous Coldplay, I walked out. I was pissed that I had to walk out, pissed at myself for not working out, and pissed enough and depressed enough to just go back home and spend the rest of the day watching movies and sleeping. I watched the Atom Egoyan movie "Chloe" with Liam Neeson, Julianne Moore, and the (also ubiquitous) Amanda Seyfried. Worth watching I would say, as are most of Egoyan's films. He's the only filmmaker deeply invested in the human emotional landscape. We're never going to see a 3D movie from Atom Egoyan.
Anyway, besides fucking around writing in this blog, I did fire off a nasty note to the folks at Planet Noise Pollution asking them to check the OSHA rules on decibel levels in the workplace. Ambient music should be just that - the definition of ambient is "surrounding" - it doesn't mean overwhelming, distracting, or fucking balls-out annoying. And speaking of my upstairs neighbor, she's been out all day and doesn't seem to be home even now, so perhaps I'll take advantage of the relative peace and go back to sleep. I have to get ready for an upcoming week of work - talk about fucking annoying. And if I go to Planet Fitness tomorrow and the music is still outrageously loud, perhaps I'll get 3D on somebody's ass.
